I miss my dad
My life is bad
He lives far away
I really want to see him today
We had some good times
When we ate some limes
When we went swimming in the ocean
I forgot to put on some lotion
My legs were so red they looked like tomatoes
When my legs usually lokked like potatoes
When we went home
I got an ice cream cone
When the day turned to night
I turned off my light
The next day i moved to New York
Where people called me a dork
California is the place I want to be
So that my friends and I can climb our same old tree
I also wish I could leave
So that I can see my same ol’ leaves.
16 responses so far ↓
1
Peter
// May 18, 2007 at 12:17 pm
That’s a very good and sad poem, nice job! pete
2
mshipley
// May 18, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Dorian, I understand what it’s like to move to a new place and be far away from loved ones. I, too, had to leave my family when I moved to New York, now they are hundreds of miles away and I often feel sad. However, I know that I have many people here in New York that love me, as YOU do too! It’s just a difficult adjustment and takes some getting used to! You really put a lot of true feeling into this poem. I like that your are able to express your emotions through poetry! That’s one of the great things about poetry! Keep up the great writing!
3
karla
// May 18, 2007 at 8:53 pm
wow that was really nice and sad!!
Does your dad really live far away from you?
4
karla
// May 19, 2007 at 8:46 pm
Nice poem!(y)(i)
That’s sad do you really live far away from yor dad?:’(
(&)
5
mshipley2
// May 21, 2007 at 11:36 am
Wow Dorian! That Was an amazing poem. I know how it feels to be out of place and stuck somewhere where everyone is different. Rock on with your poetic self!
*~*ALLEGRA*~*=)
6
mshipley2
// May 21, 2007 at 11:38 am
Dorian-
Amazing poem! I know what it feels like to be away from family. It seems that you would do anything to go back and see your dad in California.
Maya
7
~~LIZ~~
// May 22, 2007 at 11:38 am
Hey, That is a very emotional poem
~~Liz~~
8
Dr. Bernard
// May 28, 2007 at 8:33 pm
Impressive poem Dorian! Again, I’m proud of you!
9
David ~Dcrazy~
// May 30, 2007 at 10:03 am
Nice Poem you got there
It’s so sad
10
Cami
// May 31, 2007 at 9:25 pm
Dorian really emotional i feel bad for you. I guess you really miss him. Maybe you can see him soon
-Cami ya
11
Mrs. Strippoli
// Jun 4, 2007 at 8:40 pm
Dorian,
I am very impressed with your honest approach in writing your poem. A true poet not only captures the moments in words but also lives the experiences. Excellent job!
Mrs. Strippoli
12
Ms. Gonzalez
// Jun 11, 2007 at 8:55 am
I too miss my dad, but he is ever close to my heart and I’m sure your dad is too, Dorian. I appreciated your poem.
13
Ms. Rivera
// Jun 13, 2007 at 9:43 am
Nice poem I really liked it!
It made me cry
14
martinez1
// Jun 13, 2007 at 9:45 am
I really liked the poem!
It made me cry!:(
Your favorite teacher ms Rivera..:)
15
martinez1
// Jun 13, 2007 at 7:23 pm
Nice poem
Do you like the spanish class?
16
TearIzUp
// Sep 29, 2007 at 6:56 pm
Excellent Post. My compliments to the author.
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